Post 11 - 5 weeks in

25th October

I am just 5 weeks in which means I have had a full cycle whilst taking my hormones.

As an avid tracker I sat down and looked at my last month and symptoms and compared them to this month.

Here is what I found.

I had a lighter period – I didn’t have a flood day

I didn’t rage at all this month

I didn’t have any breast pain or lumpy boobs

My anxiety has been better – not perfect but better

I am stronger – I seem to have more strength in the gym

Better mood overall with some spark back

No crying outbursts

I have had no negatives at all so far

It's still early days.

Here is what it has not helped yet

My sleep

I still had some down days – although not as bad

Did you know that during the start of Peri (me) your estrogen increases and its progesterone that declines.  It’s the progesterone that is known as the calming hormone because it has a mildly sedative and anxiolytic (anti-anxiety) effect on the body, which promotes sleep. Progesterone stimulates the brain to produce a calming neurotransmitter called GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid).  This makes sense and is inline with my symptoms.

I take a progesterone pill at night and I am not seeing much change in my sleep quality, maybe I need a higher dose?  I will speak to my consultant when I have a review.  Also, studies show that increased levels of progesterone you experience in the luteal phase of your menstrual cycle is usually accompanied by lower levels of aggression, irritability, and fatigue.  This can explain me feeling less rage and irritability.

See this diagram below.

Estrodial is a slow decline over time but can spike at the beginning of Peri causing things like heavy periods and sore boobs!  This was/is me!

 That is new information to me.  I thought it was always about the Estrogen declining but it’s mainly the progesterone, at my stage anyway.

Always learning!!

Post 6 - I want my spark back - my reasons for going on HRT.

16th July 2024

Knowing the history of HRT (Hormone replacement therapy) and why it has a bad reputation is important.  I think if women understood it before jumping to conclusions about it then they could possibly improve their own quality of life.

The Women's Health Initiative (WHI) study was conducted in the 1991.

It was a large-scale study, initially conducted on post-menopausal (this is after they have been through menopause) women to see if HRT could prevent heart disease.  The average age was around 63 years old!

In 2002, the study was halted due to safety concerns.  The study found a slight increase in the risk of invasive breast cancer in women taking combined HRT (a mix of estrogen and progestin). The exact percentage increase is debated, but estimates suggest it could be around 7-8% increased risk over several years of use, to be clear this is in post-menopausal women.

This was sensationalised in the press with headlines like “HRT causes Breast Cancer” all across the world.  This caused everyone to panic, including the GP’s and they pulled everyone off it.

Women were plunged back into night sweats, painful vagina symptoms and deep depression and told to put up with it and it will pass.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where the vast majority of us believe everything we read.

Once you have a belief, it’s very hard to un-learn it.

The whole study was misinterpreted.

There was a placebo group and a group on combined HRT.

The placebo group – 30 women out of 10,000 got breast cancer

The HRT group – 38 women out of 10,000 got breast cancer

The increase in the HRT group of developing breast cancer is 8 women per 10,000.  This is still totally relevant BUT other factors were not taken into account.  In the HRT group the average age was higher than in the placebo group.  The older we get the higher the increase of developing any cancer.  Lifestyle wasn’t taken into account either.

1-7 of Australian women will get breast cancer.  HRT or not.

The main factors of breast cancer are

Alcohol consumption

Being overweight

Being inactive

Could this increase in number in the HRT be because these factors were not controlled in the study?

To put this into perspective.  You have more chance of developing breast cancer drinking a glass of wine each night than taking HRT. You have more chance developing breast cancer being in-active.  Yet we are so scared of taking HRT which can actually bring lots of health benefits but not scared of that glass of wine which brings us zero benefits.

Isn’t that crazy!  How we have been conditioned to think like this due to clever marketing and scare mongering in the press.

Another thing to note is that we do not use the HRT they used in the study anymore.

If you have had a hysterectomy and are on oestrogen only HRT you have zero increased risk of getting breast cancer, ZERO!!

There is risk with everything we do.

Every time we get on a plane, in a car, smoke a cigarette or just cross the road.

I think perspective is important here.

After doing my research into the side effects of HRT I have figured that the benefits of going on HRT, for me, outweigh the negatives.

Here is why I personally want to go on HRT.

This is what I hope it helps me with

1.       My increased anxiety

Including heart palpitations, my mind thinking crazy thoughts, a heaviness on my chest and worrying about things I never ever worried about previously.

2.       My strength

In the gym.  I feel weaker and I can’t figure out why.  Some days I am considerably weaker, it’s new for me.  Everything just feels harder.

3.       Sleep

I am tired and I shouldn’t be.  I am due to have my bloods done which I will do very soon but based on my lifestyle I shouldn’t be this tired.  I’m sick of saying I’m tired.  I have a good diet, I am active but not to active, I don’t have high stress, I take my supplements.  I fall asleep fine but it’s broken and can be very tossy turny.

4.       My mood

I do get mild depression days.  I have researched that if you do get this and the depression is linked to your cycle and not something else then HRT could help.

5.       Bring back my spark

I’m losing it.  My zest for life.  My optimism. Sometime I just feel lost and could burst out crying.  I want my spark back the most.

It’s important for me not to set my expectations to high and expect HRT to change my life.  I have heard stories where it has and I’ve heard stores on the contrary.   I know it can be a process getting prescribed the right dose and I have to be patient.  I know people who felt better after 1 day and others who are still waiting 3 months in.

I have a niggle in my mind wondering if my symptoms are even bad enough, other’s have it so much worse than me.  Am I being soft?  Am I being dramatic?

So what, I’m doing it!!

Emma x

Post 5 - My Rage

2nd July 2024

My period came 5 days early with all the symptoms of my previous one.  On one hand I was glad because I was going away in 6 days so at least most of it will be over by then.  On the other hand I was totally caught off guard.

I will keep this one short as the last one was long.

My stand out symptom this month was my irritability and the rage I feel.

I never lose my temper.  I didn’t even know I had one. I think the last time I lost my temper was about 10 years ago, it was at my husband, I can’t remember what it was about but I remember throwing a pile of washing at his head.  He must have really pissed me off for this to happen.

These days I feel like I am going to lose it ALL THE TIME.

My husband (will refer to him as Chaddy moving forward as saying my husband all the time is annoying me) asked me if I wanted a cup of tea, I said yes please, then he asked which cup I wanted it in.  I felt so irritated by this question.  In my head it was such a stupid question.  In my usual cup of course, why would he even ask?  I snapped back at him and he looked sad.  I immediately felt bad and knew I was being a total bitch. He just wanted to make me a cup of tea.

That same night we were in bed, I was reading and he was breathing really heavy.  How annoying!  How dare he breath so loud!  I had to really bite my lip not to say anything as I knew I was being totally irrational.

Then there is Hanna.  Nearly 13, full of sass and cocky comments which I usually let go over my head.  She is always in my stuff.  Stealing my clothes mainly but she is always in my make up bag.  I usually find it cute.  Not today.  I have a new bare minerals powder and of course, she wants to open it.  I say, please be careful with that, I don’t want to going everywhere.  What do you think happens!!!  It goes everywhere and I see red.  I mean, I lost my temper.  I screamed at her.  Poor kid, you should have seen her face.  It’s very out of character for me so she knew she had crossed the line.  I didn’t feel bad for at least half an hour where I would usually feel bad immediately.  Once I calmed down I spend the night hugging her and saying sorry and wondering if I am one of those emotional abusive parents.

It was only my dog that didn’t feel my rath that day, mainly because he looks like a big bear.

I know it will pass but it’s happening so much more lately.

Emma x