2nd July 2024
My period came 5 days early with all the symptoms of my previous one. On one hand I was glad because I was going away in 6 days so at least most of it will be over by then. On the other hand I was totally caught off guard.
I will keep this one short as the last one was long.
My stand out symptom this month was my irritability and the rage I feel.
I never lose my temper. I didn’t even know I had one. I think the last time I lost my temper was about 10 years ago, it was at my husband, I can’t remember what it was about but I remember throwing a pile of washing at his head. He must have really pissed me off for this to happen.
These days I feel like I am going to lose it ALL THE TIME.
My husband (will refer to him as Chaddy moving forward as saying my husband all the time is annoying me) asked me if I wanted a cup of tea, I said yes please, then he asked which cup I wanted it in. I felt so irritated by this question. In my head it was such a stupid question. In my usual cup of course, why would he even ask? I snapped back at him and he looked sad. I immediately felt bad and knew I was being a total bitch. He just wanted to make me a cup of tea.
That same night we were in bed, I was reading and he was breathing really heavy. How annoying! How dare he breath so loud! I had to really bite my lip not to say anything as I knew I was being totally irrational.
Then there is Hanna. Nearly 13, full of sass and cocky comments which I usually let go over my head. She is always in my stuff. Stealing my clothes mainly but she is always in my make up bag. I usually find it cute. Not today. I have a new bare minerals powder and of course, she wants to open it. I say, please be careful with that, I don’t want to going everywhere. What do you think happens!!! It goes everywhere and I see red. I mean, I lost my temper. I screamed at her. Poor kid, you should have seen her face. It’s very out of character for me so she knew she had crossed the line. I didn’t feel bad for at least half an hour where I would usually feel bad immediately. Once I calmed down I spend the night hugging her and saying sorry and wondering if I am one of those emotional abusive parents.
It was only my dog that didn’t feel my rath that day, mainly because he looks like a big bear.
I know it will pass but it’s happening so much more lately.
Emma x
Comments